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Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13985) - you deserved it (47069)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:13pm - work - by ohhhman (woman) - United States
Today, my mom had a baby shower. When it was over I walked around cleaning up the trash, when I saw a card sitting on the table with a note to my mom saying "better luck with this one." At the moment I am an only child, and the card was signed from my grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60751) - you deserved it (2700)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:44pm - kids - by Tim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (3290)
On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my train pulling in to the station. I sprinted up the stairs and luckily made the train. I looked around and no one was in my compartment. I began to notice that the train was heading down some tracks I'd never been too. I got stuck on an empty train for 3 hours in the train garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47584) - you deserved it (10251)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:49am - misc - by bkeiya (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59599) - you deserved it (3602)
On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (47022)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64214) - you deserved it (158276)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59618) - you deserved it (15435)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18541) - you deserved it (73711)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79993) - you deserved it (21095)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48638) - you deserved it (7071)
On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70391) - you deserved it (2264)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46744) - you deserved it (127699)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML
I agree, your life sucks (57150) - you deserved it (3418)
On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56293) - you deserved it (13305)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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