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Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34166) - you deserved it (18345)
On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (58478)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10968) - you deserved it (73493)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11933) - you deserved it (57065)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (15125)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (38544)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44207) - you deserved it (5225)
On 04/29/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by voltumna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13508) - you deserved it (45364)
On 04/29/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Cammy (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37682) - you deserved it (7193)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157181) - you deserved it (8671)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55573) - you deserved it (4667)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (46817)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by owned (woman) - Singapore
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8617) - you deserved it (78561)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)
Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11255) - you deserved it (48668)
On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States
Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12284) - you deserved it (43753)
On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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