Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

linnie_wesker

Offline (yesterday at 7:41am) | Search for a member

linnie_wesker

9Fucked!

linnie_weskerlinnie_wesker
  • Town/Country : Glendale, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16383
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About linnie_wesker : O HAI, I'm Linnie Wesker. I'm on pretty much everyday but I rarely comment due to the abundance of RAAAAAGE and needless flame wars that seem to happen 24/7.

So yeah, there you go.

linnie_wesker's page activity

Visits<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:40am<b>FlytoHogwarts</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:47am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:53am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:49am<b>Odannyboy</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:19am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 11:33pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:50am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:08am<b>Psyches</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:02am<b>Overlord247</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 2:21am<b>meisan</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:48pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:01pm<b>mineller</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:50pm<b>Devon2000</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:59pm<b>lexielou07</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 5:33am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:23pm<b>fmylifezs22</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:08pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:32pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:44pm

linnie_wesker's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of linnie_wesker's badges

linnie_wesker's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (3715)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44730) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48731) - you deserved it (7959)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59244) - you deserved it (3549)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49822) - you deserved it (3195)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (8222)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (24656)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (4701)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (2677)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58406) - you deserved it (29101)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40764) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46239) - you deserved it (5118)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (6418)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59178) - you deserved it (9580)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: