Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

linnie_wesker

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

linnie_wesker

2Liked!

linnie_weskerlinnie_wesker
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 14394
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

linnie_wesker's page activity

Visits<b>awkwardeer</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:56pm<b>Evil_Jester</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:49am<b>dalink</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:22pm<b>martini47</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:38am<b>mickybagabeers</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:45am<b>swharley</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 7:19am<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:13am<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:01am<b>eatsteak</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:58am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:29pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:10pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 10:55pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:54pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:52pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:24pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 6:02am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 6:46am<b>RA91</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:44pm

linnie_wesker's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of linnie_wesker's badges

linnie_wesker's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31775) - you deserved it (4515)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29661) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (3770)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (3679)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33824) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (4692)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (2638)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26645) - you deserved it (15610)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (4170)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (2882)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: