About lindora : I live in an igloo. Jealous, eh?I also play rugby, sing, and I suck at video games.
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lindora's favorite FMLs
Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML
by MirandaJones / 03/20/2015 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by spicybasement / 03/17/2015 at 11:38am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
by ilovecharliesheen / 03/17/2015 at 3:14am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by not a jesse pinkman joke / 03/16/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by lordtimbit / 03/15/2015 at 11:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2015 at 11:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
by TooMuchAnxiety / 03/10/2015 at 4:03am / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Why? / 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
by jlol / 03/05/2015 at 9:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
by Highnapple / 03/04/2015 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML
by Mommycakes / 03/03/2015 at 8:14am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
- Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there… Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a… Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen…