About lincolnkite : I am just a college kid, living each day to the fullest. I like to read FML's and laugh.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (3243)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44654) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12103) - you deserved it (26984)
On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34980) - you deserved it (15531)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my car got rear ended by a driver with an "I brake for squirrels" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (1356)
On 03/05/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by MoonBunny - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (13484)
On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17186) - you deserved it (2828)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (2985)
On 07/12/2012 at 6:31am - misc - by etmerda (woman) - United States
Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15881) - you deserved it (1399)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (1961)
On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (25285)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (15289)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16860) - you deserved it (2783)
On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (21901)
On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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