About lincolnick4 : nothing to say about myself really.
lincolnick4's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
lincolnick4's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML
by seizuregirl17 / 11/19/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by lax52389 / 11/09/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 10:23am / United States / Kids
Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
by thatescalatedquickly / 11/07/2013 at 3:52am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by roughsexgonewrong / 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML
by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
by English_Nut117 / 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by catfan / 10/30/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML
by abcdefghijkl1233 / 10/29/2013 at 9:23am / United Kingdom (Oldham) / Work
by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower.… Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to… Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as…