limeade

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limeade

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6296
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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limeade's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:48am<b>wordly</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 2:45pm<b>shaPOW</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 12:57am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 8:03pm

limeade's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

limeade's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML

by airborne / 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

by penisface69 / 05/05/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

by anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous