About lilyisme1324 : Who really reads these I mean comeon for real who gives 2 shites anyway
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8287) - you deserved it (38991)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (10584)
On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (3267)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (7428)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10576) - you deserved it (35199)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (35717)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (19747)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17462) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10512) - you deserved it (26983)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10512) - you deserved it (26983)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (4546)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53662)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8648) - you deserved it (29228)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States
Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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