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lily_marleen

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lily_marleen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lily_marleen's page activity

Visits<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:40am<b>amisenho</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 12:56pm<b>Peridot13</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 2:44pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:36pm<b>Dindersnorf</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 7:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 4:04pm<b>tiredmum23</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 3:13pm<b>BeccaBoo2010</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 10:07am<b>hiimolivia</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 1:55am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 10:12am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 2:01am<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 10:02pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 8:48pm<b>ride2hip93</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 4:12pm<b>morella_xx</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:39pm

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lily_marleen's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41742) - you deserved it (8760)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42844) - you deserved it (19273)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (38704)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44908) - you deserved it (7359)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46869) - you deserved it (19357)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50676) - you deserved it (23542)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47758) - you deserved it (3350)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (7055)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (5315)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

#20561915
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (17412)

On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (3452) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48912) - you deserved it (9063)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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