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lily_angarano

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lily_angarano

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lily_angarano's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97739) - you deserved it (11330)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56308) - you deserved it (6512)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54457) - you deserved it (7692)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (4596)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2444)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2444)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (30621)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (5843)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37451) - you deserved it (7729)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41706) - you deserved it (9086)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

#17301122
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (6541)

On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44992) - you deserved it (18941)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45610) - you deserved it (14552)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40628) - you deserved it (13269)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33212) - you deserved it (4300)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)



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