Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lilxsexii

Search for a member

lilxsexii

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lilxsexii : I'm awesome. :))

lilxsexii's page activity

Visits<b>phuck19</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:06pm<b>larosiee</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:20am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:50pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:34am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:40pm<b>UnleashedKilla1</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:32pm<b>brianpaulson31</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Mackay92</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 4:44pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:13am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:52am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 9:55am<b>sarahv04</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:15am<b>jaypskates44</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:11pm<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 4:07pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:10am<b>lesli</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:04pm

lilxsexii's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lilxsexii's badges

lilxsexii's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53308) - you deserved it (14061)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63014) - you deserved it (16009)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119486) - you deserved it (73971)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
730 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272943) - you deserved it (144966)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML

#1453860
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (149021) - you deserved it (11855)

On 04/29/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by fingerfuckd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79418) - you deserved it (4346)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

#1046980
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90331) - you deserved it (7344)

On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147820) - you deserved it (21635)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133941) - you deserved it (11934)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126229) - you deserved it (20363)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136682) - you deserved it (36874)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112802) - you deserved it (15904)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: