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About lilxsexii : I'm awesome. :))
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (4003)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52079) - you deserved it (4781)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5850) - you deserved it (18232)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (6778)
On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18597) - you deserved it (9460)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (2783)
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9014) - you deserved it (35002)
On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (5132)
On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5290) - you deserved it (39733)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (5743)
On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5874) - you deserved it (29688)
On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (39205)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87649) - you deserved it (18472)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (9774)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home from a business trip, I walked in to the house to find my husband nowhere to be seen. I called out his name and he came round the corner saying "Coming baby." When he came through the door he said "Oh it's you..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44147) - you deserved it (1793)
On 08/30/2009 at 3:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
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