lilxsexii

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lilxsexii

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 November 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1423
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lilxsexii : I'm awesome. :))

lilxsexii's page activity

Visits<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 2:28pm<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:23am<b>Fattie12360</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:59pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 7:56am<b>Racheecha</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:57pm<b>C7</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:59pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:22pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 3:28pm<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:20am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:00pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:01pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:31pm<b>earlpam</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 9:00am<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:17am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:25pm<b>phuck19</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:06pm<b>larosiee</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:28pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:20am

lilxsexii's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lilxsexii's badges

lilxsexii's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK / 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Work

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 7:21am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

by Max Flynn / 05/20/2011 at 6:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

by georgiana072 / 09/22/2009 at 3:36am / Philippines (Benguet) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

by Victor / 09/09/2009 at 8:32am / United States / Miscellaneous