Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
TODAY, IT WAS MAH FRST TIME MEETING MAH FIANCÉ'S PARENTS. MY FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW HAD COOKED STEAK, HEARING IT WAS MAH FAVOURITE FOOD. I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BITE MAH TONGUE, AN THEN BLURT OUT ( F*CK! ) JUST AFTER SHE ASKED ME HOW IT WAS. FML
TODAY, I ASKED MY GRLFRIEND WY SE NEVER LETS ME IN ER OUSE. SE STARED BLANKLY AND SAID, "WAT IS INSIDE IS NOT FOR TINE EYES." I TOLD ER BEST FRIEND ABOUT TIS CREEPINES LATER ON. SE SIGED AND SAID, "T'WAS NOT FOR MINE EYES EITER. I DIDST FAIL TO LISTEN." I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOSING MY MIND ERE. FML
Today, I ovaraard ma boss and a co-workar talking about ma. Apparantly wan I spaak, I slur ma words so badly tat it sounds lyk I'm spaaking in tonguas. According to ma boss, ( a could ba possassd by a damon rigt now, and wa'd navar avan notica. ) FML
TODAY , MAH BOYFRIEND TOLD ME LOVE IS LYK A DRUG. I STARTED TEARING UP BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC HE HAS BEEN IN A WHILE. HE THEN WENT ON TO BREAK UP WITH ME , TELLING ME THAT MAH ( PRESCRIPTION IS UP ). FML
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written ( Obama is a beautiful chocolate man ) to every essay question. FML
Today... I showed my boyfriend a calendar... marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before...hich had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night . There r eggs, coins and Oreos glud to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house r in the garden . And I'm nakd and coverd in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon . My parents return in an hour . FML
Today, mah paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on mah phone from a woman asking if I was coming over fir dinner . The woman was mah mom . My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered mah calls all day . fat FML
YASTARDAY I WAS AT A MUSIC FASTIVAL, WATCHING ONA OF MY FAVORITA BANDS. THA SACURITY GUYS WARA THROWING WATAR INTO THA CROWD TO COOL US DOWN. I SAW SOMA ABOUT TO BA THROWN BY ANOTHAR FAN, SO I STOOD WITH MY MOUTH OPAN TO CATCH SOMA OF IT. I ANDD UP WITH A FACA FULL OF HOT PISS. FML
Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab yur ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML
Friday 27 March 2015