Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lilpup45

Search for a member

lilpup45

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 825
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music

lilpup45's page activity

Visits<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:53pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 8:01am<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22pm<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:51pm<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:18pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:56am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:30pm<b>immamongoose1</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:11am<b>jmcr</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:48pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:40pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:39am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:32pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 5:17pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 6:39pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 3:50am<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 1:24am

lilpup45's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of lilpup45's badges

lilpup45's favorite FMLs

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33327) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (4117)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2597)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7507) - you deserved it (24071)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

#19851846
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (1815)

On 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (1629)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (3270)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (1604)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

#19827814
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:28am - work - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (8457)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (25766)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: