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lilpup45

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lilpup45

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 851
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music

lilpup45's page activity

Visits<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:53pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 8:01am<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22pm<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:51pm<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:18pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:56am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:30pm<b>immamongoose1</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:11am<b>jmcr</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:48pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:40pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:39am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:32pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 5:17pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 6:39pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 3:50am<b>waffule365</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 1:24am

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lilpup45's favorite FMLs

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (27234)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56980) - you deserved it (9863)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55318) - you deserved it (3694)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65759) - you deserved it (12634)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60610) - you deserved it (20247)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61891) - you deserved it (5422)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47340) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38980) - you deserved it (2590)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51482) - you deserved it (6245)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47444) - you deserved it (3172)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (2857)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada



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