lilpup45

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lilpup45

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1925
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music

lilpup45's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:42am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:24pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:53pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 8:01am<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22pm<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:51pm<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:18pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:56am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:30pm<b>immamongoose1</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:11am<b>jmcr</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:48pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:40pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:39am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:32pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 5:17pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 6:39pm

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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lilpup45's favorite FMLs

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

by Grand_Cookie / 04/16/2013 at 4:48am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

by too young for this / 04/12/2013 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 5:06am / United States / Animals

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

by seriously! / 03/19/2013 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous