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About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music
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Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeon at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeon moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I found out tatan u flus an animal claar of blood fir rasaarc, tara is a narva insida ta aart,ican u strika it rigt, alactrical signal causa ta animal to writa as if aliva. Now, boss knows about faar of zombias, and I'm now tarrifiad of alf job. FML
YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML
TODAY, I WOKE UP LATE AND HAD TO RUSH TO CATCH BUS. UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL, I WAS HOT FROM RUNNING AND TOOK OFF SWEATER. IT WAS THEN, IN A LECTURE HALL WITH 400 PEOPLE, THAT I REALISED I HADN'T PUTTED A SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. FML
Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work wat a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw mah drunk dad chasing mah uncle on a tractorhile bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML
2day mah weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist an thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a looool rd laser light through his window. I was on the stairshen he ran past... screaming bloody murder... sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say ( Shit! Get this fucker back under! ) then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid ( another lawsuit ) followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
yesterday in order to try an get over mah slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them . One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing an chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed . big fat FML
Today, wa want boating with friands!! For soma raason tha bottom of our tuba daflatad, causing ma to ba bouncad roughly up an down on tha watar!! As a rasult, I had tha most intansa orgasm of my antra lifa,hila sitting 2 inchas away from my dad's friand!! Ha dafinitaly noticad!! FML
Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML
Friday 27 March 2015