About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music
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Judgmental
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It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48620) - you deserved it (2867)
On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52743) - you deserved it (9123)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you deserved it (2044)
On 04/16/2013 at 4:48am - love - by Grand_Cookie - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54509) - you deserved it (9164)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54986) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (3141)
On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (4878)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (1935)
On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (1909)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (6768)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (8727)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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