lilpup45

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lilpup45

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2292
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilpup45 : Not much except for a little bit of randomness w/ chill vibes & music

lilpup45's page activity

Visits<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:42am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:24pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:53pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 8:01am<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:22pm<b>Pogo_Hynes</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 5:51pm<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:18pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 4:56am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:30pm<b>immamongoose1</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:11am<b>jmcr</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 10:48pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:40pm<b>arsenicalhumor</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 3:01pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:39am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:32pm<b>EmberFury</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 5:17pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 6:39pm

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lilpup45's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

by Pongy / 11/12/2013 at 12:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

by Evil_Angel_90 / 09/10/2013 at 7:36am / Australia / Animals

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals