Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lilmisstif

Online | Search for a member

lilmisstif

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 574
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lilmisstif's page activity

Visits<b>man_in_black08</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:32pm<b>sh07</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:31pm<b>je83185</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:33pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:03am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:59am<b>ilovecuddling</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 12:13am<b>thegreatericmoor</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>zerodayattack</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:26am<b>foxrider114</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 11:33am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:22am<b>revidffum69</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:45am<b>jmann8811</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:57am<b>Wolvander88</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:07am<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:25pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 5:53am

Liked!<b>man_in_black08</b> - 15 hours ago

lilmisstif's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of lilmisstif's badges

lilmisstif's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (7387)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (5455)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35005) - you deserved it (4569)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (13573)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38660) - you deserved it (4101)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50964) - you deserved it (5903)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

#21176688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (9917)

On 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50465) - you deserved it (10892)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41184) - you deserved it (4316)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: