About lilmisslovely13 : Hi I'm Kiera :) I'm an actress and a dancer, and I like meeting new people. I'm usually on the app, but if you message me, I'll message back when i go online. I like all of the regular commenters, but I find DocBastard, Perdix, and Pleonasm especially funny.
lilmisslovely13's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lilmisslovely13's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
by grlzze444 / 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Hobbsie / 08/29/2010 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML
Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML
by unloved / 10/01/2009 at 10:25am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML
by BDayssuck / 09/02/2009 at 10:47am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
by spinner / 09/01/2009 at 7:44am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
- Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at,… Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded.… Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and…