lillord55

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Offline (the 02/22/2015 at 10:02pm)

lillord55

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2032
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lillord55's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Demonyx</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:42am<b>ems81193</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:47pm<b>KittehFreak</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:39pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:32pm<b>wellfuuucckme</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 6:37pm<b>kered_iz_kool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:56pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:40pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 3:09pm<b>MaliaA</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 10:17pm

lillord55's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lillord55's badges

lillord55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

by ouch / 07/12/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

by anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health

Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML

by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous