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lillord55

Offline (the 02/22/2015 at 10:02pm) | Search for a member

lillord55

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1221
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lillord55's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:30am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Demonyx</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:42am<b>ems81193</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:47pm<b>KittehFreak</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:51pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:39pm<b>juanschwartz</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:32pm<b>wellfuuucckme</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 6:37pm<b>kered_iz_kool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 9:56pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:40pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 3:09pm<b>MaliaA</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 10:17pm

lillord55's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lillord55's badges

lillord55's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (19097)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41170) - you deserved it (3997)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (4529)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (4999)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53873) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43997) - you deserved it (3195)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (8291)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54339) - you deserved it (4925)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38029) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38229) - you deserved it (2819)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44537) - you deserved it (6441)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (5989)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47455) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41315) - you deserved it (7781)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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