About lilikawaii : My name is Lili :) I'm just here to relax and have a laugh after a long day. ^__^ I love my boyfriend, my puppies, reading, and playing my apple ukulele.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (5140)
On 11/09/2010 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by redlips - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (4171)
On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (2973)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (6464)
On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (8658)
On 10/19/2010 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Puerto Rico)
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5241) - you deserved it (28482)
On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18358) - you deserved it (1825)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (6206)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (27905)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7807) - you deserved it (32175)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (9667)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (21616)
On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (2208)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (14121)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (52661)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
