lilikawaii

Search for a member

lilikawaii

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2847
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lilikawaii : My name is Lili :) I'm just here to relax and have a laugh after a long day. ^__^ I love my boyfriend, my puppies, reading, and playing my apple ukulele.

lilikawaii's page activity

Visits<b>cowduck7</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 10:19am<b>vsinha</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 1:30am<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 1:41am<b>ghostoflalonde</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Carysimmo</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 1:23pm<b>ImNormallyWeird</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:54pm<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 4:28pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Ifuckedthefeartu</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:34am<b>monapm</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 10:10pm<b>anonymous198913</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 3:08am<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:02am<b>Harrycompany</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 11:01am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:05am<b>Trisgav</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:02pm<b>captain_nessness</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:51am<b>Ifailatstuffalot</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:33pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:56pm

lilikawaii's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of lilikawaii's badges

lilikawaii's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 8:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

by Nicole / 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous