Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lilidear

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

lilidear

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 September 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1101
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lilidear : I'm fresh as a daisy.

bonjourmisslily.tumblr.com

Kik: libetyo

lilidear's page activity

Visits<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:05am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:28pm<b>asia3pea90</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:47am<b>talk_to_me</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:46am<b>KaylaLevin57</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:29am<b>joemud</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:44am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:38pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:27am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:08pm<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:23am<b>whitevenom</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:41pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Nish007</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Rawrshi</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:58pm<b>andyeatsworld</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 3:49am<b>kubackster</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:17am<b>NicH1799</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:20am

lilidear's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of lilidear's badges

lilidear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23892) - you deserved it (43762)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (27740)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52979) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (7617)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (23966)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (36514)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (77733)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

#20895300
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (12329)

On 09/25/2013 at 2:59am - love - by so_screwed - United States (California)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (16666)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He told me he was a dinosaur. FML

#20883504
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42080) - you deserved it (5365)

On 09/16/2013 at 7:09am - love - by Kit (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54873) - you deserved it (27573)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43994) - you deserved it (2698)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: