About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...
lilhellian's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lilhellian's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML
by dadum / 01/27/2011 at 2:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML
by Kellie / 12/31/2010 at 4:55am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML
by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation
Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by haleyfml / 10/27/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
by ugly me / 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…