About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...
lilhellian's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lilhellian's favorite FMLs
Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML
by jen / 07/08/2011 at 10:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML
by phant776 / 05/13/2011 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Transportation
by jamalinho / 05/11/2011 at 1:51pm / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Work
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Now Single / 04/03/2011 at 4:06am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML
by nerdychick / 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 2:12am / United Kingdom / Money
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a…