About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...
lilhellian's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lilhellian's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML
by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by idrathernotgiveoutmyname / 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by mandie / 11/13/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by lonely / 10/24/2011 at 10:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 8:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by FroggyGirl888 / 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
by Hailey Antone / 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by doughgirl101 / 09/07/2011 at 1:59am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by christine brown / 08/26/2011 at 8:03am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by j / 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm / United States / Health
Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML
by IronFoot / 08/13/2011 at 10:41pm / Canada / Health
- Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought… Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By… Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…