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lilhellian

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lilhellian

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 24 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4056
  • Number of comments : 1818
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lilhellian : I have accepted the duty of the being an assassin against comments such as "thats shitty." I dont just snip, I'm capable of being a ninja. I am The Puppy Assassin. I has a female pomerian chipmunk baby named joey with squeakychipmunk! I am atheist...

lilhellian's page activity

Visits<b>Gundai</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:40pm<b>darkflight</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:31am<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:10pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:48am<b>Phaeno</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:13pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:52am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 11:41am<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:13pm<b>Exhayle</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:42pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:26pm<b>Kbryant321</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:31am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:16pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:40am<b>Brandon1337</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:34pm<b>_Slenderman_</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:26am<b>The9thIndividual</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:34pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:52am

Liked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:17pm

lilhellian's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of lilhellian's badges

lilhellian's favorite FMLs

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

#6565832
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (3454)

On 12/02/2009 at 8:27am - work - by ostler (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

#6546793
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19518) - you deserved it (14868)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:05am - health - by ihatecats - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

#6494612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (4511)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States

Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML

#6476198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5405) - you deserved it (45164)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:13am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you deserved it (3606)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6247) - you deserved it (53430)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

#5931603
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9891) - you deserved it (27120)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

#5899039
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33383) - you deserved it (15293)

On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

#5887611
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (7828)

On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my company's HR manager to ask what the procedure was to file a sexual harassment complaint since my boss exposed himself to me. His response was that the procedure is to "get over it." And he went back to reading. FML

#5875946
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40553) - you deserved it (3907)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by dyingtinkerbell (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML

#5862276
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (1698)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

#5825419
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (1540)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

#5792064
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (3895)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:38am - work - by Undercover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48436) - you deserved it (3926)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

#5528599
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (5927)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)



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