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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (2771)
On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (4121)
On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (2108)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (1813)
On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (4475)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (16881)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (2807)
On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (6823)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12165) - you deserved it (24911)
On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)
Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you deserved it (7805)
On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (1520)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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