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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18102) - you deserved it (7237)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (1347)
On 04/28/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by Steve - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (3219)
On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while my plane took off, I was forced to sit and watch as somebody rear-ended my car in the parking lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113) - you deserved it (1382)
Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (4550)
On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17127) - you deserved it (1495)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9350) - you deserved it (42208)
Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7821) - you deserved it (17540)
On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (2038)
On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (2390)
On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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