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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you deserved it (2385)
On 06/08/2012 at 3:45pm - misc - by hackshack (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (2157)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15978) - you deserved it (3084)
On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9198) - you deserved it (29274)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14207) - you deserved it (4632)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (1610)
On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you deserved it (28314)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, a week after I lost my wallet, replaced the majority of my ID cards, canceled my debit card, and went to the DMV and paid for a replacement driver's license, I found my wallet. It was in my shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6285) - you deserved it (17674)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by eddiemusicjazz - United States (California)
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10462) - you deserved it (1961)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (1641)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (5222)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14885) - you deserved it (4717)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31298) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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