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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (4581)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (2627)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (1280)
On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States
I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (6968)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33981)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (21386)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18539) - you deserved it (13073)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (2725)
On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (18945)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (2823)
On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (1848)
On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (2807)
On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4572) - you deserved it (37973)
On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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