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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (1805)
On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45446) - you deserved it (7535)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (1338)
On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (3669)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7483) - you deserved it (20233)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4137) - you deserved it (25346)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (3202)
On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15973) - you deserved it (2207)
On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (4305)
On 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you deserved it (3983)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31191)
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (45373)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (2348)
On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (6441)
On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (2352)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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