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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47865) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (2529)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (7041)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54319) - you deserved it (4978)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14084) - you deserved it (46344)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (12854)
On 06/25/2011 at 2:02am - love - by cek4uytp - United States (California)
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45439) - you deserved it (13597)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -
Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (2666)
On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (3370)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:34pm - kids - by OhDear (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (36380)
On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -
Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (6761)
On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (5863)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -
Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (7988)
On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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