Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lighter123

Search for a member

lighter123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 927
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lighter123's page activity

Visits<b>companion</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 2:42am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 2:35am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 3:33am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 9:16am<b>DeidaraAkatsuki</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:33am<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 1:08pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:17pm<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:50pm

lighter123's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of lighter123's badges

lighter123's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47168) - you deserved it (3486)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44779) - you deserved it (8988)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (6103)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53729) - you deserved it (7353)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you deserved it (50750)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66718) - you deserved it (4940)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58063) - you deserved it (13038)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38639) - you deserved it (4197)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49063) - you deserved it (4132)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

#21106910
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (4460)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48015) - you deserved it (8013)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (6279)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: