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lightcookie

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lightcookie

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  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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lightcookie's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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lightcookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49056) - you deserved it (10240)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55589) - you deserved it (9877)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

#19999290
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (1994)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by HappyMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

#19998217
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (2503)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9226) - you deserved it (27377)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (9191)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

#19775676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2750)

On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

#19216079
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8347) - you deserved it (41781)

On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10420) - you deserved it (37070)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14862) - you deserved it (44699)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (14146)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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