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lifeofarainbow

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lifeofarainbow

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  • Number of visits : 23
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

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lifeofarainbow's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59678) - you deserved it (10730)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49350) - you deserved it (7989)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45098) - you deserved it (7792)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108064) - you deserved it (4829)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123688) - you deserved it (6663)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147220) - you deserved it (21585)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (346268) - you deserved it (38545)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247334) - you deserved it (41932)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241318) - you deserved it (31668)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134310) - you deserved it (20199)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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