lifeof_toad

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Offline (the 05/17/2016 at 4:47am)

lifeof_toad

3Fucked!

lifeof_toad
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lifeof_toad : Hello, you can call me Rosalie. All I really do here is laugh at the FML's.

lifeof_toad's page activity

Visits<b>username635</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:33am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:44pm<b>felicianchris</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:20pm<b>Tuvoi</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:10am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 11:58pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:35pm<b>suchwow101</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:23am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:56pm<b>niiickk_</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 1:51pm<b>jade_midori</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:24pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:42am<b>wonandonly</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:48am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:05am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:48pm<b>siham_maghrabia</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:04am

Fucked!<b>Tuvoi</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:11am<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:12am

lifeof_toad's FML badges

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lifeof_toad's badges

lifeof_toad's favorite FMLs

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

by anon / 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm / United States / Work

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

by Quicky5_ / 11/03/2015 at 1:58am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 9:17am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 4:17am / Australia / Love

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my married life pretty much consists of punching myself in the penis until my libido goes down, since my wife has physical ailments that prevent her from even wanting to have sex. FML

by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

by mother teresa was a cunt / 09/17/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

by FishFlingingMonkey / 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

by wtf / 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.