Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lifeof_toad

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

lifeof_toad

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 395
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lifeof_toad : Hello, you can call me Rosalie. All I really do here is laugh at the FML's.

lifeof_toad's page activity

Visits<b>wonandonly</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 7:21pm<b>siham_maghrabia</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:04am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Countryboy6</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:54pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:21am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:40am<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>terryaly</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:03am<b>organizse</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:00am<b>Melharr</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:36pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:19pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:07pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:22pm

Fucked!<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:12am

lifeof_toad's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lifeof_toad's badges

lifeof_toad's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18467) - you deserved it (7078)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

#21458894
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (2196)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (6100)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (1736)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32598) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (27826)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49567) - you deserved it (8975)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44732) - you deserved it (4630)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27556) - you deserved it (3590)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

#7545695
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

#3108036
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11770) - you deserved it (81005)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91248) - you deserved it (33051)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58069) - you deserved it (15000)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: