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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 419
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About lifeof_toad : Hello, you can call me Rosalie. All I really do here is laugh at the FML's.

lifeof_toad's page activity

Visits<b>wonandonly</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 12:48am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:05am<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 7:48pm<b>siham_maghrabia</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:04am<b>Countryboy6</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:54pm<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:21am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:40am<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:18am<b>terryaly</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>organizse</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:00am<b>Melharr</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 10:36pm<b>TheDude992</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>HumanitysFinest</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:35pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:19pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:07pm<b>MattBenid</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:22pm

Fucked!<b>Geary519</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:12am

lifeof_toad's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lifeof_toad's badges

lifeof_toad's favorite FMLs

Today, my married life pretty much consists of punching myself in the penis until my libido goes down, since my wife has physical ailments that prevent her from even wanting to have sex. FML

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML


I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (4823)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by mother teresa was a cunt (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (7458)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (2411)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (6491)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35807) - you deserved it (1917)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (2990)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (3261)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45924) - you deserved it (29298)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML


I agree, your life sucks (49834) - you deserved it (9006)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML


I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (4722)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML


Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (3608)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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