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lifedoesuck's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by waymoreiwanted / 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
by FUUUUCK / 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by Fiancé problemsss / 01/05/2014 at 2:11am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 3:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
by WhyThankYou / 07/26/2013 at 1:31am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML
by ouch / 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
- Today, while on picket duty all day in the sun, I not only didn't get paid but I got sun poisoning.… Today, I tried to wake up my boyfriend for morning sex with a Blowjob, he woke up looked at me said… Today, I had a romantic moment with my lifetime crush and one of my best friends. We were having a…