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lickmyjock

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lickmyjock

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 July 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5646
  • Number of comments : 761
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About lickmyjock : Do you like candy as much as I do?

lickmyjock's page activity

Visits<b>HeXr</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:26pm<b>TumblrGirl79</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:57pm<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:41pm<b>snowmansteel</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:26am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 6:16pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:28pm<b>carliflowerr</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:42pm<b>kingbrizo</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:34pm<b>oathkeeper99</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:43pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:42am<b>gnoe33</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 6:06pm<b>Welgemoed</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:09am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 3:03pm<b>mike1818</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:06pm<b>TheNelson3</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:42pm<b>parism143</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:05am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:09am

lickmyjock's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lickmyjock's favorite FMLs

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (44514)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (12584)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (71790)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39308) - you deserved it (14814)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (4396)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (2621)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33342) - you deserved it (9935)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (31761)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5922) - you deserved it (20903)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (4574)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (11903)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (25642)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7397) - you deserved it (25642)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (1658)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (19902)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)



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