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lickme89

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lickme89

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lickme89 : as me

lickme89's page activity

Visits<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:58am<b>hk</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 6:23am<b>laylie4</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 8:38pm<b>52fremont</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 12:22pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/20/2010 at 6:06am

lickme89's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

lickme89's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

#3792104
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92923) - you deserved it (4796)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

#3400206
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59166) - you deserved it (6595)

On 07/01/2009 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11401) - you deserved it (166246)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (70086)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (110099)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108641) - you deserved it (4858)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

#1513327
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (49826)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by kam3221 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57029) - you deserved it (8578)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57029) - you deserved it (8578)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65291) - you deserved it (8534)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (486257)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (152102)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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