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lickme89

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lickme89

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lickme89 : as me

lickme89's page activity

Visits<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:58am<b>hk</b> - the 08/08/2010 at 6:23am<b>laylie4</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 8:38pm<b>52fremont</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 12:22pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/20/2010 at 6:06am

lickme89's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

lickme89's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98130) - you deserved it (5656)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

#7721655
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44161) - you deserved it (2435)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:11pm - love - by pkz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34800) - you deserved it (5055)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

#6700407
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5104) - you deserved it (24521)

On 12/10/2009 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by jlowder2 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37597) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (4283)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

#5955896
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (3231)

On 10/23/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by effmylife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

#5741744
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (4358)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:52pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48468) - you deserved it (2578)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177186) - you deserved it (18079)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70235) - you deserved it (8189)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (11917)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (502378)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50397) - you deserved it (8773)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)



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