Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lickastick

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

lickastick

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1460
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lickastick : I enjoy traveling, eating, sleeping, adventuring, and watching Netflix... Sometimes all at the same time.

lickastick's page activity

Visits<b>balba31</b> - yesterday at 6:46pm<b>alice2lacy</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:06pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:16am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:16pm<b>drcr</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:58pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:25am<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:20am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:27pm<b>tomtom375</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:45pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:36am<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:10pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:28am<b>712sash</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:16am<b>TheDog6</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:36pm<b>KaliApate</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Tony_BigBologna</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:57pm<b>emmyy1255</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:35pm

Fucked!<b>drcr</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:58am<b>MRP360</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 8:19pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:30pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:15pm<b>dmraya1</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:31pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:57pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:11am

lickastick's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of lickastick's badges

lickastick's favorite FMLs

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53465) - you deserved it (10761)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (27826)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

#21165218
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (41093)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:01pm - health - by shartface12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (4424)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (4658)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

#20806438
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55337) - you deserved it (4272)

On 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm - kids - by poopiter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58943) - you deserved it (9695)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (56528)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58305) - you deserved it (4904)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

#20793566
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (4523)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47am - work - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50081) - you deserved it (24831)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (3820)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (52229)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46100) - you deserved it (3860)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: