About lickastick : I enjoy traveling, eating, sleeping, adventuring, and watching Netflix... Sometimes all at the same time.
lickastick's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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lickastick's favorite FMLs
Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML
by porkers gonna pork :\ / 03/12/2016 at 10:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML
by Quendolin / 11/09/2015 at 9:07am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by MyLegsHurt / 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML
by WakeUpToADream / 09/25/2015 at 4:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by jack / 08/27/2015 at 6:56am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 10:06am / United States / Intimacy
by distracted / 07/13/2015 at 9:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML
by Anonymus / 04/18/2015 at 3:01am / Sweden / Kids
by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy