Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

libras_optimism

Search for a member

libras_optimism
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 638
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About libras_optimism : I am a free thinker. A laid back type chick that does not deal with drama. My escape is through music. I can go on and on, but I think these couple of short sentences suffice.

"Survival is a game of chance, revenge is a calculated plan of action." ~ Ace Hood

libras_optimism's last visitors

mcm_3EdumcgTaytochill23MzJniccWizardowindellsillybilly1321deep4lifesirpantselotMisterCrossmichaelm1290Tika876

libras_optimism's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of libras_optimism's badges

libras_optimism's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78612) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (5260)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML

#13513832
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (5260)

On 10/19/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by lookslikeaboyapparently (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

#13496892
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7961) - you deserved it (28556)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:44am - work - by sofakingweetodit - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (24614)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (2833)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7255) - you deserved it (28598)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

#13386499
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (2466)

On 10/10/2010 at 12:33am - love - by lightblue - United States (California)

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (5031)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (34362)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (9284)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: