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liamtx00

Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 6:04am) | Search for a member

liamtx00

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 254
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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liamtx00's page activity

Visits<b>atl904</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:39pm

liamtx00's FML badges

Supersize Menu

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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liamtx00's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (12136)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44281) - you deserved it (9494)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36404) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (3707)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45401) - you deserved it (3433)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39824) - you deserved it (24151)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47901) - you deserved it (10533)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (3887)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84146) - you deserved it (25943)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17987) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34124) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (6264)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (34108)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



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