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liamitus

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liamitus

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liamitus's favorite FMLs

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473056) - you deserved it (45767)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1141841) - you deserved it (115183)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98584) - you deserved it (10668)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML

#117861
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58606) - you deserved it (12095)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by stoopidRUnner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
737 comments

I agree, your life sucks (767222) - you deserved it (82684)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51021) - you deserved it (5496)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

#2485
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (1814)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by ohfantastic - United States (California)

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8686) - you deserved it (38710)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

#360
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25186) - you deserved it (4169)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm - work - by christous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42511) - you deserved it (4132)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version



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