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lhcarpenter

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lhcarpenter

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  • Number of visits : 3635
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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lhcarpenter's page activity

Visits<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:48pm<b>Brukernavn</b> - the 05/07/2010 at 11:38am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:17pm

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lhcarpenter's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (54939)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML

#4137470
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55003) - you deserved it (2820)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

#4136342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75243) - you deserved it (3562)

On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50750) - you deserved it (2275)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (86829)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54545) - you deserved it (5814)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (8277)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57449) - you deserved it (4527)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71240) - you deserved it (14601)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (82112)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

#3704342
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37567) - you deserved it (28851)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

#3704342
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37567) - you deserved it (28851)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85603) - you deserved it (13333)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read "you can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

#2992603
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88976) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/18/2009 at 11:08am - intimacy - by larvagirl23 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



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