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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (1442)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (1495)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7281) - you deserved it (21906)
On 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (25167)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (2656)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50324) - you deserved it (2660)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (6831)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4229) - you deserved it (24247)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (5935)
On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (6648)
On 11/04/2009 at 9:00am - love - by reality_stricken (woman) - Guam
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (3235)
On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (2266)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (1494)
On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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