Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lhazz11

Search for a member

lhazz11

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 August 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4637
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About lhazz11 : A bisexual track star who likes to eat and draw

lhazz11's page activity

Visits<b>vtfan2319</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:43pm<b>DS0128</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:54pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:24pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:02pm<b>killthedead</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:27am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 4:56pm<b>whatcouldgowrong</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 3:07am<b>KitchenPig</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:37pm<b>pizzas_awesome</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:18am<b>Kaimanalyles</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:09pm<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:56pm<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:35pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>50_shades_of_idc</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:20pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:25pm<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:53pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:21am

lhazz11's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of lhazz11's badges

lhazz11's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (6299)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15570) - you deserved it (59109) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10859) - you deserved it (25634)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

#19444005
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (6530)

On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (5292)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (10226)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that my roommate doesn't actually know a damn thing about cooking. I'm suffering the effects of him telling me that chicken is best eaten medium-rare. FML

#19404145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (12520)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Ralph - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (4543)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

#19312594
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7511) - you deserved it (47167)

On 03/20/2012 at 5:47am - misc - by treehugger - Singapore

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (7336)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (6440)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (35146)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: